Hulk vs Superman
by Amarintha
Summary: Mish asked for it. Blame her. Drabble. Also to tide you over until my next chapter goes up. Uh, borderline "M" rating, but not quite, I don't think. Dunno. This might be a limited time only thing, depending on whether or not I like it after tomorrow.


_(So, via request by Merisha. I was telling her about something that happened in the middle of Spanish class, when we were supposed to be working silently. Let me tell you, your friend asking very loudly in a quiet room "wouldn't it explode her vagina?" and then hearing "well, what if he's not proportional?" and THEN the coup de grace... "well, he's not the 'asian Hulk'...-to Avenue Q fans, "everyone's a little bit racist"... but, may I say worst conversation I have ever been proxy to in my life? ...so, I told Mish about it, because I'm an idiot, and this is what came of it. In fact, this is a much censored version of the conversation that went on in my class...Amazing. If anyone wants the full convo, I'm quite willing to share, because the images in my head when I think of my friend asking in her cute little baby voice ... makes me laugh every time. So... hopefully since this is NOT beta-d...Mish died. Yeah. She was taking too long to beta my next chapter for my ongoing fic, and so I flew to S.A. and killed her. I know, shame on me, now you'll never get to read what happens next. lol love you guys. And Mish? Hope this amuses you. Otherwise I can try again) _

Sam sat quietly on the bed before turning on the television. Some half hour later, Dean came back in, clothes rumpled and his shirt on backwards, along with his belt not buckled, not to mention the obvious 'after-sex-hair.' Sam glanced once at Dean, before returning his attention to the television. It wasn't exactly anything new, one way or the other. Settling on the bed, Dean had all the grace of a tomcat, not to mention the smug superiority the animal seemed to have. Half watching the television his eyes half closed several times, until a "Hulk" trailer came on, and he watched with vague interest. Iron Man had been pretty kick ass, and there was no reason the new Hulk wouldn't be. But he found himself drifting off until Sam's pained

"Oh god!" startled him.

"What?" Dean mumbled, sighing a little.

"I just had a thought worthy of you."

"Took you long enough," Dean muttered, knowing full well whatever Sam thought he might be thinking was generally the farthest from anything he might actually come up with. Because for whatever reason, whenever Sam had a gross thought, he felt the need to blame it on Dean. "So, what was it?"

"Did you just see that trailer? Because…I was kinda wondering…" Dean just raised an eyebrow, wondering what the hell Sam might be thinking, and if for once, it might be something that a man might think of and not a woman. "Well…in general… y'know how the Hulk gets huge…well, d'you think it's proportional?" Dean closed his eyes, massaging his temples. Of all the things for Sam to want to know about, a green penis wasn't on Dean's list of those things. "No, no, not like that!" Sam added hastily, and Dean opened one eye to stare at him. "I mean, well, y'know how he's sleeping with his girlfriend right there?" Dean was a quick study.

"Oh for the love of god, Sam, why the hell'd you have to go there?!" he stood up, searching around for something to occupy himself so he didn't have to have this conversation. Clothes, he could shower. He smelled like sex.

"But what would happen to the woman if he went all Hulk while they were… I mean…" Dean paused, and shrugged, then grinned.  
"I always used to wonder how come Lois Lane never ended up dead after a date with the big S-man anyway," he said, watching Sam cringe. He laughed a little, wishing he hadn't said it, but at the same time it was so worth it.

"Dean, Superman has self control. The Hulk totally doesn't."

"Well, I mean, I got Spider-Man 'cause he's all stealthy, right? And he's got the ability to be gentle…but Superman? He's gotta think about it all the time, right? So what if he loses his head?" Dean snickered.

"Dude, lame. So very beyond lame."

"Whatever. I need to take a shower. But, next girl I'm with? I'll ask her what it's like to sleep with the Hulk, okay?" Sam pulled a pillow over his head, shutting his eyes, and tempted to start bawling out 'lalala I can't hear you!' but he knew it wouldn't work. Dean was always louder, which was why he won all the arguments, even when he was wrong. Especially when he was wrong.


End file.
